The rapper and the politicans

When I was 12, we had elections to be head of the year.

One by one, people took to the microphone, and timidly recited speeches written by their mothers.

I don't even remember what they said- it was politician talk.

Nobody listened, we didn't care what they had to say.

It was all the same.

And then the last boy came up.

And he performed a rap.

And everybody listened.

I still don't know what he said- nobody cared.

He was performing a rap, it was different, it was funny.

He stood out.

When it came to voting, there were 9 meaningless names.

Nobody could remember what made them different, what they'd said.

And there was the boy who did the rap.

Needless to say he won.

It's also pretty obvious he was a rubbish head of year.

Rappers don't make good politicians.

So who was the better advertiser?

The ones who were honest, said the right things, or the one who spoke rubbish and got remembered?

Neither.

Of course getting yourself noticed is half the battle in advertising.

Make yourself stand out of the crowd and you're doing brilliantly.

But you also have to think about what you say and do once you have that attention.

Trying to get somebody's attention is tough, keeping it is where the real challenge lies.

Me- a quick introduction

I thought it about time I introduced myself properly, so here you are:


Let's begin with the obvious parts:

I am a languages student and I would like to become an account handler.

Now lets move on to the bits that everybody says, but you still have to say because they are actually true:

I am passionate about advertising. Really passionate. I watched the Superbowl for the advertising and get excited by the latest issue of campaign.

I genuinely believe I could make a good account handler: I am creative, organised, friendly and very hard working.

And now for some adjectives:

I am confident, energetic, outgoing, ambitious, perceptive and analytical.

That's a lot of adjectives, but are they all true?

Yes.

So I want to be another Don Draper?

No, I know advertising isn't really like that. I want to work hard and do well, not drink whisky and womanise. Though a few sharp suits would be nice.

What star sign am I?

Taurus- which is a thinker rather than a doer according to wikipedia, and it could not be more wrong. I always give everything a go, it's why I took up springboard diving, why I can ride a unicycle and why I am learning the ukulele.

What do other people think about me?

Well my Grandma said that I am 'very impressive' and Oscar Wilde said I am a 'hard-working and reliable young man with a creative flair'. OK, he didn't really, but there so many Wilde quotes he might have done, anyway I like to think he would have if he'd met me.

And do I always have an internal interview going on?

No, because that would be odd. It just seemed fitting for this.    

What Pacman says about you.

You can learn a lot from watching somebody play Pacman.

There are various techniques to chase those little dots, which reveal a person's character.

A beginner is terrified, those little ghosts are chasing you and there is nowhere to hide. They panic, they dawdle and they fail.

There are those who set about it efficiently, with nothing but the aim of the game in mind. You have to eat all the dots, and so that is what they do. They find the most effective route to get the most dots possible, if they are lucky they succeed. But they haven't thought about their final score. The best they can do will be satisfactory.

To truly succeed at Pacaman, you must think about what happens once the tables are turned. Eat all the ghosts and the score will soar, you will quickly find that the other dots get eaten anyway. Aim for something incredible and you will easily surpass satisfactory.

The same is true of life. There are those who panic when faced by the pressure (I have even seen people play it with their eyes closed). There are those who seek to get the job done, nothing more. And there are the opportunistic few, who are prepared to take a risk when they smell success.

That is why I shall be putting my Pacman score on my C.V.

What advertising can learn from a teapot

Bauhaus is an artistic movement from 1920's Germany.

It combined art and function- redesigning everything it could.

The most famous examples of this are Bauhaus buildings: big windows, new materials and open plan designs- this was the beginning of modern architecture.

But the Bauhaus movement also effected more everyday items.

Like teapots.

The designers didn't look at what teapots already existed and how they could adapt them.

They started again- designing every aspect from scratch.

They made the design cleaner, more practical and possible to mass produce.

Why did a teapot need to be that shape?

Why does it need to be made out of china?

The result looked nothing like a normal teapot.

It was seen as revolutionary and modern at the time, chances are you have something similar in your cupboard today- so it was successful.

It is this style thinking that Steve Jobs used.
He didn't seek to reproduce a mobile phone and improve upon it. He saw it as something completely different.
He thought about what it was capable of.
Does there need to be a key pad? Is aluminium better than plastic?

He started from scratch, looking at every part critically.

It is this thinking that creates a great advert.

Analyse the competition, use the same tools as they do, improve on their strategy and you may will probably come up with an OK advert. It might even be good.

But to be great, you have to forget about everything else, you have to empty your mind of all norms.
Don't improve something, but design something fresh.

How research should be used.

Advertising is a delicate business.

It's creative.

But the creativity is for business.

And so a balance must be found:

You need a good idea, but it needs to be the right kind of good idea.

It needs a focus.

Advertising needs to accomplish something.

Leave even the greatest creatives alone with a pen and paper, and they won't create the greatest advertising.

They need guiding: pointing in the right direction.

That's where research comes in:

Research tells you what the advert needs to do.

Finds the problem with a brand.

But research won't solve the problem.

That's what creativity is for.

Of course research is more appealing: you can measure it.

That's where it can stifle.

Especially in the digital age.

The prospect of a shiny website pulling big numbers can be tempting over a new idea which may or may not work.

But just because something is popular, it does not mean it is doing what you want it to.

Fill a website with women in bikini's and you might get a lot of hits, but you haven't accomplished anything.

Numbers will never tell the full story.

It is unlikely that anybody will sum up the situation better than advertising's hero Ogilvy: too many people 'use it as a drunkard uses a lamp post for support, rather than for illumination.'

Is advertising simply a superficial exercise in making people buy something they don’t actually need?

Everybody knows Listerine.

A few people know it was used as floor cleaner and a cure for gonorrhoea before it hit it off big as mouth wash.

Listerine offered a cure for halitosis.

Nobody had heard of halitosis.

But suddenly everybody had it.

They wanted a cure and Listerine offered it.

So surely Listerine created an artificial need?

Of course not.

Listerine did not invent bad breath- they named it.

Bad breath has always been about.

They found a solution.

This is what most advertising does:

identify a problem and solve it.

Of course, there is some advertising which creates a superficial need.

There is advertising which simply panders to an existing need.

And there is advertising which informs.

But the best advertising spots a problem, and solves it.

The apocalypse is nigh and you have been tasked with creating a new world order. Choose four people to help you do this and tell us why have you chosen them?

Firstly I need an inventor, somebody good at making things, capable of creating whatever will be needed. My man for the job would be Harry John Lawson, inventor of the saftey bicycle (the first ‘normal’ bike). You just need to look at the difference between the saftey and the penny farthing to see the advances he is capable of.

Next: an explorer- somebody who isn’t scared of finding (or refinding) new things. How about Captain Cook? He was fearless, inteligent and resourceful- just the type of guy I’d need around.

Next up is a good leader- somebody inspiring. Lance Armstrong: strong, charitable, and never gives up. That’s just the sort of leader that I’d need. Plus he can ride about on the bike that Harry just (re)invented.

Lastly I need a moral advisor. It will be easy for me to get my head stuck in the clouds what with creating a new world order and all. Attikus Finch, that fine gentleman from To Kill a Mockingbird has a moral compass like no other, he taught me to be fair, not to harm things which don’t harm others and to walk about in other people’s shoes. A pretty handy helper I’d say.

Now, some might complain: most of these people are dead, one isn’t even real. To you I say this: this is the apocalypse, lots of slightly odd things are going on- a couple more people coming back to life is just the tip of the iceburg!